Women and Public Bathrooms

I was at work and thinking about this. Women..we have so much ettiquette when it comes to some things..but sometimes we are just plain stupid. Like for instance, take public places and bathrooms. I think we leave our minds at the door and our bladders take over. I originally wrote this article for a friend that had a urban 'zine...but since we no longer are on terms like that...I'm posting it on my blog...enjoy (and ladies...feel free to add your own experiences!)

Women and public bathrooms. We experience this social phenomena both at work and in the clubs. Female bathroom mannerisms and etiquette have been studied for ages- why is it that we feel this need- this bond and do the strange things we do? Here's a look at some of the top washroom wanda's.

1. The secret dump'er'

The person who's feet you've seen in the stall for a few minutes and you wonder what they are doing because you haven't heard them do one thing or the other. They are the secret dumpers. They lie and wait until they see no feet walking around in the bathroom- and then let loose. Be glad you didn't stay in the bathroom...get out as fast as you can when you see those stagnant feet. Trust me.

2. The drunk girl

Everyone is guilty of this at one time or the other. We all know the drunk girl. The girl who has had one too many and is kneeling on the bathroom floor with her head in the can- wretching, dry heaving or just plain puking it all up. Sometimes, they just pass out on the floor. Don't laugh. We know you've been there.

3. The drug users

Divas dressed in monolos and prada- blinged out and hair styled impeccably- you know what's up. They enter the bathroom in packs and all proceed to one stall. They end up sniffing when they come out, or rubbing their teeth with their fingers. If they ask for a key or a business card, don't loan it to them. Trust me.

4. The cellphone kitten-

Now this one astounds me. Why do people go into the bathroom- where others are relieving themselves- and use the phone? I know if I were the person on the other end- I wouldn't want to hear people peeing in the background and toilets flushing. If you have to use the phone, think of other people...go outside and do it if you are in a noisy place. Don't submit your poor conversee' to this obvious audible display of public female urination. I don't care how urgent the call is. Be courteous. Damn.

5. The makeup maven

She brings an arsenal of cosmetics into the bathroom and hogs the entire space applying makeup at the club. Honey, put it on BEFORE you get there. Everone has already seen how scary you look without your red chanel lipstick. Why bother?

6. The hair 'junkie'

This is a true story. While dining out at a less than desirable (but damn good) soul food place in Brooklyn, I had to use the potty. I went in. There was a waitress apparently giving herself a 'quick weave' in the bathroom. She asked me if she glued the track on straight in the back. I didn't exactly want to examine her nappy head- but I let her know she was cool. I don't understand why she was going through all the trouble. I mean, really...one minute your waitress has a natural..the next minute, she has hair down to her butt? Isn't this obvious? Ladies...PLEASE take care of your hair at HOME. If your weave is falling out and you need to re-tack a falling bonded piece, I understand..but keep your full head hairweaves out of the public bathroom. No one wants to see your haircare 'secret'.

7. The accidental oversight

Forgetting red letter day can be more than a pain in the ovaries..but an embarrassment as well. This bathroom diva assaults all females that walk through the door- asking for a feminine product. Nevermind that there is a 50 cent pad/tampon machine in the bathroom. This girl doesn't even have change- hence, the panic as her situation gets heavier through those tight white Capri pants she know she shouldn't have worn.

8. The no "TP" issue

Ladies, before you squat, not only check the pot- but the TP supply. No one likes to drip dry- plus you run the risk of smelling like pee rather than that expensive J'dore perfume you bought. Always CHECK to see if there is toilet paper- don't ask the girl in the stall next to you- most likely she will give you 2 squares..and who the HELL uses 2 squares ANYWAY? Come ON NOW!

About the author: Sun Karma is a published author, model, actress, dancer, and makeup artist. She can be found www.sunkarma.net. Her latest book: Internet Modeling 101 (www.internetmodeling101.com) Her next book: The Lilitu- the Best of Sundari Prasad, is currently out